Bram’s Emporium

A TV pilot

Whitby, North Yorkshire.

Bespectacled Satanist, Rasputin lookalike and occasional nudist Crispin Crockett is on the brink of a nervous breakdown. His joke shop, Bram’s Emporium, is doing next to no business at all thanks to the rise of the pygmy supermarket; his lodger and shop assistant, Gertie, is becoming embroiled in Whitby’s criminal underground; and the teashop worker Crispin secretly adores is engaged to be married… to a southerner.

Then, everything changes. Crispin learns there’s been a local sighting of his long lost love, Irma Monroe, who went missing 25 years ago. His heart leaps. But as the search for Irma begins afresh, strange and apparently inexplicable things begin happening in Whitby… and only someone with a knowledge of all things Other is qualified to investigate.

Crispin is about to find out he’s not the darkest thing in Whitby after all. Not by a long way…

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